Senior Thesis Link

http://www.geocities.com/mldmonet/toc

Joyeux Noel

December 2006

Dear Friends & Family,

Yes my life has officially become exciting enough to turn into a “Christmas Letter.” Okay so I also never got around to buying cards at half price last year…

Part One: My Work Life or My Life’s Work…

The beginning of 2006 found me studying very diligently for my Masters’ Comprehensive Exam from January through March. It was an intense but rewarding experience as I received a Passing Grade and graduated Cum Laude from Rutgers University. Yes I’m officially a RU alum but I never rooted for the Knights (do you blame me?).

When no full-time teaching jobs came through, I focused on finding another administrative job, as mine was moving out of Manhattan and up to the Westchester area in the fall. After 2 months, I received an offer from the Licensing department of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia. Five weeks and fifteen pounds lighter, I asked to be fired. Yes it was that bad! Luckily, my old company (On2.com) took me back and I now commute to Tarrytown, NY four days a week.

I have a second job as an adjunct instructor at my local community college where I began teaching during the fall semester. I teach two sections of college composition at Union County College in Cranford and enjoy the challenge of getting my students (most of my students are in the nursing program) excited about William Shakespeare and Arthur Miller, who are among the plethora of authors I teach during the semester.

This coming spring, I will begin the arduous process of applying for a Ph.D program in the Tri-State Area (that’s NY, NJ. CT for you folks out of the East Coast area). The community college I adjunct at will fund my studies and give me a starting professorship. I look forward to beginning that challenge full-time between 2008-2010. In the meantime, I will head out to Chicago to the Wade Center at Wheaton College in March 2007 to begin my research on CS Lewis and Modern Myth Theory, my current area of concentration. Let’s see if I can make my enthusiasm for this subject last until 2016!

Part Two: My Social Life’s Progress

In June, I traveled out to the Coast to see my Gram’s new digs in PDX (Portland, OR) and my cousin Jenn in Olympia, WA. I always have a fantastic time when I visit my family and this trip was no exception! I went there to visit a new place and was never without an outstanding selection of seafood as there was more than enough to enjoy.

Many of you who know me are aware that Maggie and dating don’t often go (if at all) in the same sentence. So to rectify this discord, I caved and joined Match.com because the local Christian dating pool is well quite shallow. About four months later, I received a very eager but polite e-mail from a nice guy named Hernan. I made him go through the online dating routine of emailing, then a phone call, then first date in a safe location. I knew he had my attention when he yanked ( I mean firmly guided me away) from crossing the street haphazardly on 6th and 41st street after we met for coffee in Bryant Park.

I am thrilled to report that he’s got me taking naps, drinking coffee, and R E L A X I N G (not in that particular order mind you). We are having a great time getting to know one another and about our different cultures (he’s from Cali, Colombia and I’m a Jersey Girl). We’re usually found correcting each other’s grammar in our native tongue. He is very eager to get into an MBA program and run a business thereafter in the States. In the meantime, he works as an Account Manager for Eldorado Coffee in Maspeth, Queens ( http://eldoradocoffee.com). Yes I will provide coffee by the pound by mail upon request. Hernan studies harder than me (yes that is possible) for his GMAT exam as well as becoming a fully fluent American speaker (he’s also determined to speak as well as I do...without my SAT vocabulary!).

Well that’s all I have report for this year; I’m sure it’s enough for you to take in! As you can tell, I am healthy and happy.

Best wishes for a Blessed Holiday Season.

Love & Your Favorite Sleeping Position

A new study claims someone’s doze pose says tons about your potential together. Here’s how to decipher the signs—and whether you should stick around.

By Laura Schaefer

Whether you’ve decided to bed down with someone on the first or fifteenth date, by the time you’re drifting off to dreamland you may be wondering: How well would I get along with this person in the days, weeks, or months to come? Well, according to one study, you can start doing research immediately—by checking out the position your sweetie snoozes in. After surveying 1,000 people about their personality and preferred sleep position, Chris Idzikowski, director of the Edinburgh Sleep Centre, came up with some People who sleep on their stomachs are pure party animals.




Curled up on his or her side. Going fetal is the most common sleep position, with 41 percent of people (and twice as many women as men) reporting this as their preference. These snoozers may seem tough on the surface, but they’re actually sensitive and shy, so keep that in mind if you want to crack a joke in the a.m. about your sweetie’s morning breath.

Sideways and straight as a log. Fifteen percent of people lie on their sides with their arms at their sides. These space-conserving sorts tend to be extremely trusting and gregarious, so if you’re seeing someone like this, you’ll continue to go on plenty of group dates, dinner parties, and outings that will allow this social butterfly to spread his or her wings.

Sideways with arms outstretched. Warning: The 13 percent of folks who slumber with their arms reaching in front of them are cynical and slow to make decisions. But while they may dodge the “Are we exclusive?” question longer than usual, once they do commit, you can be sure they’re sure.

On his or her back, arms at sides. This pose, common amongst eight percent of respondents, means your sweetie’s reserved and has very high standards. You’re with someone who’ll treat this relationship with the respect and attention it deserves.

On his or her stomach. Seven percent of people sleep on their stomachs with their hands around the pillow and their heads to the side—and the research says these folks are pure party animals. If that’s your thing, well, party on!

On his or her back, arms overhead. This rarest of sleep positions — only five percent of the population sleep this way — also boasts a very rare quality: These folks are good listeners. So whether you’ve mentioned you only drink decaf or love waking up to Puccini, don’t be surprised if your wish comes true come morning.

>>This is my position although I always think someone's going to come and tickle me in the night :)

Mags

Do men really want wives like June Cleaver?

With a divorce rate currently of 45 percent many men and women are wondering “How do I choose a partner that will go the distance?” Do men really want subservient “slave-women” who subverts all her personal needs in order to please his? Yes … and no.

Both men and women have fantasies of being taken care of, being nurtured, being babied and being number one. Historically, masculine and feminine roles contributed to the specifics of these fantasies: men imagined the perfect mate as a passive, docile catering nurturer and women envisioned a giving, sacrificing protector. But these are fantasies! And while it may be fun to imagine — or even play out — these roles at times, they are but one of many fantasies men and women may have about their ideal partners. If rigid roles are not a good predicator of relationships’ longevity, what is?

Marriages based on shared morals, values, life goals, and abilities to communicate well contribute to stable relationships. That’s because marriages require work, commitment and self-sacrifice from both partners. Marriage based first and foremost on passion, children, or extremely time-demanding careers, tend to break up.

The institution of marriage began as, and still works as, a vehicle to protect both partners financially, ensure their progeny’s health and well being, and provide companionship and intimacy. Once a couple understands marriage is a choice that requires effort through its ups and downs, then they have a shot at maintaining a healthy relationship. (Research shows that married people are healthier and have better psychological health than singles. In addition, children of married couples are healthier and have better psychological health.

Marriage is a partnership that requires both partners provide and receive gratification. Most men would say that being pampered occasionally is delightful, but that they don’t want to be only needed, but also needed. And most men would say that having all the pressure to be the sole provider and protector causes immense anxiety. They want — and need — a partner who will help shoulder some of the burden emotionally or even financially. And most women would find the 50’s housewife requirements utterly absurd and miserable. If one partner is utterly unhappy, the end of the marriage is inevitable.

The Housekeeping Monthly article represents an underlying issue in many marriages: Who has control? That’s why there are jokes about women who “wear the real pants” in the family and manipulate their sad sack husbands into making them do all kinds of things that they don’t want to do. So a man may fantasize about a June Cleaver-like wife, because he wants more control in their marriage — or even have the upper hand. Wanting more control occurs when one partner feels insecure and unsure of his, or hers, own worth and power. When both parties feel heard and sure of their own effectiveness, their fantasies of being taken care of diminish.

If you notice that your partner wants more control in your marriage, find out why. If your partner feels insecure, discuss way to make him, or her, feel more comfortable. Discuss what you think your roles are in your marriage. And find out if these roles need to be changed, so both of you are satisfied. Sit down and talk about these issues as members of the same team — not opposing teams. This is the only way to build strength and satisfaction in any relationship.

Source: © 2006 MSNBC Interactive
URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15039140/?GT1=8618

Anthony's Take on New Jersey

I love reading those cheesy mass emails that keep circulating the web, rifs on New Jersey. Here's one I had to share:
Ahh, Jersey. Here's Anthony's take on the great Garden State ...
(Source: http://travel.discovery.com/fansites/bourdain/take/jersey.html)

"The First Family of New Jersey"
Paris has the Eiffel Tower. London has Big Ben. There are those pyramids in Egypt. But when you're talking about New Jersey there is perhaps no more significant monument, no more important temple of all things New Jersey than the Bada Bing Club. Tony Soprano's office, by the way. Otherwise known as Satin Dolls. It's a restaurant. They serve food, too. I am not getting back on the tour bus.

So what's the first thing that comes to mind when you're sitting in a place that people actually refer to as the Bada Bing Club? How is the cuisine here? Italian sub. Oh, yeah. Got to have it. You just don't get them right in New York. Massachusetts, they call it a grinder. In New York, it's a hero. Somewhere — I forget where — somebody calls it a hoagie. But where I come from we call it a sub, or a submarine sandwich. Classically consisting of a soft-crusted roll jammed with a healthy mélange of prosciutto, mortadella, capicola, some ham, provolone cheese, some lettuce, tomato and onion.

You only have sauce with red wine vinaigrette, that's it. Maybe you sprinkle a little herb. A real submarine sandwich. Listen, I catch you putting mayonnaise or mustard on a sub, well, the Meadowlands are nice and close. I feel a little weird about ordering the Buffalo chicken wings. However highly recommended they might come, I'm just uncomfortable with the whole idea of, you know, handing somebody money with like, sticky hot sauce on it. It's just so low rent, you know?

Oh, yeah. This is the life. A beer, a sub, and an articulate young woman who finds me fascinating. As much as I hate to leave this place, most Jerseyites have no connection at all to strip clubs and mobsters. What they do know about is going down the shore for the summer.

"The Bridge-Tunnel Crowd"

A small island lies off the coast of New Jersey, identified on U.S. Coast Guard navigational maps as Manhattan. New Jersey natives commonly refer to it as "The City" and have been known to project upon it their greatest hopes, fears, lusts and aspirations. I know I did. So close and yet so far. Story of my life from age zero to 17. Always living 10 minutes from what I still call "The City," where all the good stuff happens. And the city, like any enabling co-dependent, responds in kind. Derisive New Yorkers refer to people from New Jersey, of course, as the bridge-tunnel crowd. Hell, even I'm guilty of it.

Now, I was born at Columbia Presbyterian, so theoretically I was born in New York. But all those wonder years, New Jersey. I guess that makes me a bridge-tunnel guy. Oh, by the way. I don't live here anymore.

Now, before I'm willing to cop to being a self-hating Jerseyite, let me say this. People have been pushing clichés and misconceptions about Jersey since long before my glory days. Let me clear up one misconception right now. Two New Jersey natives upon first meeting do not say, "Hey, what exit?," to identify where they live within the state.

What do we think of when we think of New Jersey other than it as a punch line to a joke? Well, you know, beaches. Got Atlantic City. We have a football team, kind of, but they still call them what? The New York Giants. Jimmy Hoffa might be buried here. That should be on our license plates. New Jersey, Jimmy Hoffa is probably buried here. This is the home of the DeCavalcante crime family, by the way. Upon whom a popular television show, I believe called The Sopranos, is said to be based. New Jersey. I love it. It means something being from New Jersey. It means you have a sense of humor. I spent a lot of my youth driving pointlessly around these highways, cruising for burgers and worse. But there is no doubt about it. If Jersey is famous worldwide for anything, it's our very own first family, the Sopranos. What Sam Houston is to Texas, Paul Revere to Massachusetts, Tony Soprano is to New Jersey.

Notes from the Circulation Desk

These are the five things I actually learned in grad school.

1. You don’t have to do all the reading to make a brilliant contribution to class discussion.
2. Buying books every semester for two years is equivalent to sending yourself to Europe and back home again at least twice.
3. Your term papers can turn into one of two things: pure bullshit with an extensive works cited list or a submission to the academic conference of your choice.
4. Lattes were invented for the grad student to get us through our nighttime weekly seminars.
5. You really should do all the reading when it comes time to take your comprehensive exam.

~

The program director for my MA did not know me that well but she had me pegged when she said, you will not do well in grad school unless you cut back on your hours at work She also said that I needed more vitamins in order to fix my slightly crossed eyes. Which piece of advice do you think I took? Neither. I did okay in grad school, minus that one class where the misogynistic and professionally unfulfilled professor made it hell for my compatriot Faith and me. He is the reason Princeton did not come looking for me this semester to join their PhD program. Plus (ahem), I really didn’t try to get published at all or attend a single academic conference. There’s always more comfort in blaming others rather than yourself in these situations.

~

My adviser was a brilliant woman but I never got her attention long enough to get some really good advice. The one time I got advice it was “Get married and have kids.” I politely smiled yet it took me a while to process this unexpected gem. I started to believe it when my female professors had similarly cheerful advice. Was I being weeded out? I’d already invested (ahem I mean borrowed) the cost of a new midsize car so I wasn’t about to pack it up simply because I’d been politely labeled a non-academic.

The plethora of domestic bliss advice did not drive me towards it nor away. Rather it imbedded a longing sense of dread and an existential crisis. This was not the first time I’ve received advice of a domestic nature. My senior year in college I received similarly bizarre advice from my humanities professor during a bus trip to the Cloisters: “Adopt a dog, don’t have kids, the world is over-populated enough. ” Ever since I started grad school, I’ve been looking into getting a dog. I have no room for a dog; unshelved books overrun my house.

~

I cringe at the library of books piled up in my office. I know I bought certain books twice, Norton this and the special edition of that. I came to love him in the end, sadly enough. He saved me a lot of hours at the library mostly. Deep down, I have a crush on Norton, can’t you tell?

I got my Masters diploma in the mail the other day. It came in a cardstock case with my alma mater’s logo emblazoned. Thank goodness they spelled my name correctly. I really need to put it in a frame and hang it up in my office with a sign above it that says “Overqualified.” I do feel overqualified to live my life. I should be standing up on a soapbox in Times Square reciting Shakespeare’s Sonnets or something really clever. Instead I spend my down time reading the latest best seller or watching VH1 “I Love the [fill in your favorite decade here] Parts One and Deaux” Maybe I should have done graduate work in pop culture?

___________________________________________________

My sister said the night before she and her fiancé signed their mortgage papers she couldn’t sleep. The enormous financial responsibility of a thirty-year loan haunted her sleep. I had a similarly frightening moment when I got the finally tally of combining my undergraduate and grad school loans. Unfortunately I got it in the form of an email just as my boss was walking into my office to drop of an assignment.

“Mags, what’s wrong?”

“Matt, I owe over $30,000” in school loans”

“Nice try kiddo, try having law school loans, a mortgage and three kids”

“Touché , touché”

Digging Deeper

Digging Deeper

Is the blog of my new friend's Jill & Cassie. Their words are the ones I cannot say about my life as a Christian. They've intensely studied His Word and for that I am grateful.

Master Of.....

I got my exam results via e-mail last week. I got a "Pass" which is the second highest score you can get on Rutgers MA Exam! It's a relief to say the least. Everyone who knows what I've been going through the last 2.5 years was thrilled with my success! And of course their very legitimate follow-up question is, what's next?

Well I have nothing definitive set. I'd love to jump into teaching at my local community college but so far they've overhired or only have spots open to teach in the morning or early afternoon. That doesn't work with my schedule, unfortunately! And even though I like to write I have no contacts to pick up some freelance work. Basically I either have to majorly step up my own job seekers campaign or wait each semester to find out what job openings there are at the college.

In the meantime, I'm very relieved to have my social life nearly fully restored state. Frankly it's better than ever so I'm thrilled about that! Meeting new people all the time which leads to more dating opportunities ;-). I'm reading a lot more just to keep my mind sharp and up on the latest everything...

My Fabulous Birthday Party

On Friday, March 24th, I invited a bunch of my friends out for dinner at Havana Central on W. 46th Street. We ate a lot and everyone from the various facets of my social circle got to know each other better! There's was birthday flan with a yellow candle, of course. And there were cute presents, two purses, hair accesories, and a Starbucks gift card.

After dinner, we had dessert at Ben& Jerry's. Then the last stop with just the Jerry's and Rich was the House of Brews. I made it to the last train with 10 minutes to spare, whew!






Picture Three: My girlfriends from recently and wayback!
Picture Two: My best friend from college and her posse (sister, fiance, coworker)
Picture One: The Jerry(s), Rich, and Dave from the Liquid church, Rutgers, family extension.

Any Bright Ideas?

Picture Caption: SW Bowne Hall, Drew University, my Academic Building from the undergrad years

I'm taking a break (okay so I take a lot of them!) from studying for my MA exam, less than two months away. Even though I know I'm going to pass, somehow I still don't certain of how much studying is enough for this.

My boss saw SparkNotes on my desk and was teasing me about taking this approach to studying. I truly believe SparkNotes could save my life at present because all I really need is the broader picture not the nitty gritty that I usually lose anyway from reading. I usually don't go for minute reading comprehension but I can hold my own in a larger discussion.

For example, a few month ago, I was at a symposium during my college reunion on the new MoMA. I had not yet been but managed to jump in and shake up the discussion a little bit. Mind you I was on the lower age end of the group and the people that argued against me for elitest snobs my alma mater is probably notorious for.

Oh but I digress...

I spent half of last weekend throwing away the papers from the last six and a half years of my academic life. I was saving them for an occasion such as teaching or at present my MA exam. However, I found most of my notes to "in the moment" and decided that only two courses I've taken had applicable notes. Last night, the rest of my laborious note-taking (class notes, then later re-writes into what I called "master notes) went to the curbside to get recycled. What in the world with the center think when they see all that?

My senior thesis...draft after draft... the notes on paintings I can't even remember anymore...and at least 3 readings of "Hamlet" good grief I truly loathe that play.

I've been musing half-heartedly about making this brief but increasingly profound experience into a novella. It begins at the curb and ends when I make my final student loan repayment when I'm like 60.

As usual with me...stayed tuned!
Mags