Depth Perception

The last few weeks have been a strong upheaval of life changes. My focus in life has majorly shifted (for the better) and the reality of what I can (and cannot) do. Some of those closest to me have had even more significant life changes than me. People have died and children born since my new year began. I went from worrying about the future to focusing on just today.

Abraham Lincoln said "The best thing about the future is it comes one day at a time." I know I should have lived my life like that up until this point but it wasn't until I was absolutely broken last weekend that I began to live that way. I put away my thoughts of what I should do 6 months from now, 1 year, 5 years.

I dug up a notepad I got years ago for planning that has two columns "Today, Tomorrow". I leave it by my front door and now try to make a record of things I am grateful for Today and things I'm excited/hopeful for tomorrow.

I also changed my quiet time from the train ride in the morning to the last thing I do at night. Lately I've been using late night TV watching to help me fall asleep and it didn't work. Now I'm down by 11:30 p.m. instead of 1:00 am.

More changes on the way but nothing too drastic...

List Update

1. Sista E had her baby before Christmas and she's beautiful!
2. My friend finally signed a lease for her new business, it will hopefully open this spring.
3. My nephew's first Christmas was fantastically funny.

Not a bad way to end 2008 and lots of fun to look forward to in 2009!

House Mending

I'm trying very hard to resist the urge to start too many projects and not finish them. Right now my bathroom is about 75% done with the re-hab. I look at the tiles every single day and wish they could come down like wallpaper. I look at the ceiling and see where I let the wall color spill over. But soon enough all of this will be done. Since I'm a recovering perfectionist it will never be as I imagine in my head. It will never be like my friends who have brand new houses or recently rennovated on a larger budget. It will be what I put into it (sweat equity) and George's too when he's free :).

When I feel really overwhelmed by all my ideas, I simply write them down in a notebook that I keep under my coffee table. That way it doesn't roll around indefinitely in my head and drive me i-n-s-a-n-e. It doesn't helped that I watched 2 hours of HGTV on Saturday, a marathon of "Sweat Equity". Luckily it was on basement finishing and garage rennovation for a workshop. But oy vey, if it had been bathroom rennovation, I would be worse off than I am now!

Baby It's Cold Outside

Yesterday afternoon, I had the pleasure of singing "Baby It's Cold Outside" with my very talented co-worker Nick at my office Christmas Party. We'd only practiced twice right before the party start and I fudge a little in the first verse. But an hour and a glass of campagne later, I nailed it. The rest of the afternoon, I was complimented to the hills for how much joy it brought everyone.

I'm not great at taking compliments but I did my best to be gracious and smiled a LOT. I was pleasantly surprised how awesome this party was. From the decorations, to the spread to seeing people I work with all in one room enjoying some time off to celebrate.

When I woke up yesterday morning, I had a lot weighing on me. Mostly worrying that I haven't save enough and that I'm going to have to rent my place out and move back home. I prayed that God would make me smarter and wiser about this issue because I have to believe that he wanted me to own my own home so why would he take it away just 6 months into it. I've made some adjustments like majorly increasing my church tithe. After hearing a Journey sermon about the levels of giving, I knew I was disobyeing God by only give when I felt I had enough and then only giving 5%.

Don't get me wrong, I got exactly what I wanted in terms of personal space. I have my beautiful Home Depot Christmas tree up. I even had some energy to make an ornament last night with some leftover craft stuff at my parent's house. I have four more to make when I feel like it. And I like having my own kitchen and am still learning what I can make for dinner and not be too tired. I will keep using my crockpot that's for sure.

Grown Up Christmas List

I've been saying "Merry Christmas" a lot since last weekend and I really mean it. While Brad in my choir was like "woah we just finished Thanksgiving" I feel like it's time to celebrate the impending madness, ahem I mean blessing that is Christmas.

Here are things that I can't actually posess as presents but I would like to get for Christmas:

1. I want to watch my nephew try to unwrap a Christmas present
2. I want my sista E to have a healthy baby
3. I want my best friend's business to finally launch this coming year
4. I want to find a way to teach full-time and quit my day job
5. I want to take a trip with George in which I'm actually not exhausted before we actually get there
6. I want to make time to really launch my TS business so I stop worrying about having enough money. What is enough money anyhow? I've always done okay. Anyhow...
7. I want my other best friend to find the love of her life this year


That's it, oh yeah and if I could get a day off before I turn 29 that'd be nice too!

What Goes Around, Comes Around

I'm in the middle of a quandary. My mom's brother has mostly absent from our lives, expect when one of his wives each took a brief interest in us. Now he's trying to make us feel bad about what to do with the remaining pieces of my Gram's life that he hasn't already hoarded for himself or given away to charity (without asking us first). His 3rd wife (he's been through all of them in my lifetime so that makes an average of 8.5 years/wife) took my Gram's ring and turned it into jewelery as soon as it couldn't be worn anymore.

I was lucky to get a lovely few pieces of storage furniture and lots of china. But now all of a sudden, I asked for some figurines and I have to send a letter to the estate lawyer. Geez, thanks a lot!

When my other Grandmother passed away about 14 years ago, my aunt went through her things and mailed us a lot of things both of sentimental and monetary value. She neither charged us nor made us sign a letter of receipt.

The stark contrast in these situations has made us all particularly confused about his intentions or lack thereof. I cannot say anymore because it gives power to an absurd situation that the estate lawyer can mesh out.

I just miss my Gram now more than ever!

Fake It 'Til You Make It

I had a very enlightening weekend in the domestic department. I hosted my third house party, this time pitching my new part-time gig, Tastefully Simple. I was a nervous wreck and finished setting up moments before my first guest arrived. She was an old friend and it was nice to start off with just her instead of a bunch of people at the same time. I learned that as a business owner, I'm better interacting one on one to close a deal. In fact, the business model I'm using pretty much requires it or else you could lose the sale in theory.

I did the clean up in stages, a little before and a little after dinner, while George and his friends chatted in my living room. Much to my surprise, I was not completely wiped out when the evening was done. I think it was because I'm as involved as I want to be in this job, I set my own hours, etc.

Yesterday, we took half the party area down and I counted out my sales, not too bad for 3 hours work.

Today, back at my day job, I found out one of my co-workers left my business card out and our nosiest co-worker inquired. Since I'm keeping this biz to myself from my boss, I just let them believe I'm a caterer on the side. I didn't want to explain that I'm in direct sales, not food service.