Remembrance

When I overhear someone in a public place usually I laugh to myself because their loudness is very amusing. However this morning, a man ordering train tickets at my train station was quick annoying.

He was taking his family to see "Ground Zero" and either is never rides the train or thought he had to talk louder because of the glass seperating him and the booth clerk. But he acted like he was going to a special, fun place instead of the sacred ground I still view the WTC as.

My neighbor, Andy, died there, leaving behind a beautiful yet still grieving family. I would rather not have people trivilize this place, in the same vein as seemingly just another NYC attraction. I suppose the same could be said for any place that's been memoralized for the dead. My sister just came back from Hawaii and visited Pearl Harbor while there. She didn't find it all that thrilling, maybe because it happened so long ago, or more importantly, she has no personal connection to the site.

Anyway, I looked across at a fellow commuter who was overhearing this man's pronouncement. She had a similarly bemused look on her face and I just rolled my eyes and went back to reading my book.

My Inhertitence for a Manicure

So my Gram, who's been developing dimensia for the last year or so, mailed me $50 to thank me for giving her rides around since she lost her car earlier this year. I was very surprised to receive the money on the grounds that I did it without expecting any payment or thanks. She's been very difficult to handle on her own and it's been very draining for me to even take her to church and back because among other things, she's tried to get out of the car while it's still moving!

She is also under a lot of stress because she's moving to live in Portland to be near her son. She's told him that we're being mean because she just thinks we want her stuff but a few weeks ago she said she couldn't take it all and asked what furniture my sister and I wanted before she left.

I've always liked her bookcases so I asked for those. My sister and her husband wanted the piano that Gram had received as a gift from her friend, Anne, when she moved to her daughter's home. Last Saturday when I came to get what I'd asked for, she said that I would have to pay for the bookcases because she needs the money. This is a truth to some extent, however, she has not made the same condition to my sister, who's embarrased by the unfairness of the situation. I was lucky two weeks ago to get a set of china from her; she was having a good day but my visit last week was not quite as fortunate.

So you see, it's quite ironic then, that she should send me a fifty dollar bill in the mail as if I'm another debt she's paying off before she leaves. My mom is equally troubled by the gesture but we're trying not to make her feel any more upset than what she's already put herself through. All of this is just a reminder of how fragile my relationship has always been with her and now what's left is being further strained by misunderstanding.

I spent part of the money this morning on a manicure... the rest for lunch money the next couple of days!

MaggiLouD

The seniors in my youth group are leaving for college this week and I know it's not going to hit me until they're not at FCYF next Wednesday :-(

Here's a pix of the boys in the group who have Axe attacked me more than I'd care to remember but they're my guys just the same.

Oh the Wedded Bliss

I just got an e-mail from my best friend from college, she's engaged! I'm so happy for her and even though I haven't met this guy in person, I know he's the "One" for her.

Anyway, this past weekend was a blitz of weddings in an usually hot spell in NJ. But both brides, Suzanne and Francine, looked amazing. Suzanne married a guy she met at the bookstore where I used to work. Bill, her husband, is a very sweet guy who she's madly in love with. Their wedding was a fun time and the reception hall, The Manor in W. Orange, was amazing.

On Saturday, Francine, a childhood friend, was married to her college sweetheart Doug. They got married by our high school sunday school teacher Danny. The ceremony was short and thank goodness because the sanctuary wasn't cooled down enough. Again two people very much in love but in a different way than Suzanne and Bill, mostly because of the age difference.

Anyway, it got me thinking again about why I'm not much of a dater. This is the last place I will whine about it, (I promise Kate!), but I don't ever get to be with the guys I LIKE and instead settle for some nice guy who asks me out but I'm not really attracted too. The guy I like now might have a clue but I doubt it and I haven't figured out a way to ask him without ruining the foundational amount of comfort/fun we have with each other. Oh well, I'm not in a rush but I'd like to know where I stand with him sooner than later.

Don't Give Me Jesus

Don't Give Me Jesus …
… if giving me Jesus means
telling me about your beliefs,
then walking away.
Don't give me Jesus,
if giving me Jesus means
judging me by appearance,
but never trying to see who I really am.
Don't give me Jesus,
if giving me Jesus means
you're right no matter what,
and I'm wrong no matter what.

Do Give Me Jesus …
… if giving me Jesus means
walking beside me just like
Jesus walked beside
lepers and losers.
Do give me Jesus,
if giving me Jesus means
listening more than talking.
Do give me Jesus,
if giving me Jesus means
laughing with me when I need to laugh,
and crying with me when I need to cry.
Do give me Jesus,
if giving me Jesus means
letting me know when
my actions are harmful or destructive.
Do give me Jesus,
if giving me Jesus means
being my friend.

If you give me Jesus
wrapped in your friendship,
I may be more ready to listen
to what you have to say.

—Anonymous

Randall's Island-DMB

Saturday was the Randall's Island getaway with DMB headlining. My former co-worker, Jenn and I took the ferry over from E. 34th. We got there around noon and were glad to get there early! Randall's was decked out as a festival with two stages. We were on the dusty/dirty side of the island and after a while it showed on all of us. Most of the tixs sold were for lawn seats which turned out to be sit on the hard ground. Luckily I'd brought a blanket and we got as comfortable as possible. There were about five bands performing throughout the day. The big three were Jem, BNL, and DMB. BNL went on around 6ish I believe and no one really paid attention 'til they played the three songs they're known for. I was in the growing pre-DMB bathroom line so I got back in time to mindlessly sing along to "If I Had a Million Dollars." After that we had to wait about an hour until the sunset for Dave to come on stage. He opened with #41 ( I just checked the setlist to make sure). My favorite was prob.Lousiana Bayou from their new studio album "Stand Up." Lots of pot came out at "Jimi Thing" of course. The group we sat with were really cool, around the age of my cousins. We were blanket protective but after a while some barely legals kept trying to jump the fence to get up closer so we had to keep pointing them to the exit to our left.

Here's the rest of the list as well as a shot from the show, courtesey of the band's official site:

Saturday Jul 30 2005
Randall's Island

#41
One Sweet World
Dream Girl
Don’t Drink the Water
Time Of The Season
Hunger For The Great Light
You Might Die Trying
Crash
Jimi Thing * (this had Buffalo Springfield "For What It's Worth" at the end;
he first sang it that way live back at the Central Park show)
Tripping Billies
Steady As We Go
American Baby Intro
American Baby
Dancing Nancies
Warehouse
Louisiana Bayou +
__________________
Old Dirt Hill
What You Are
Show Notes:
* Trey Anastasio
+ Robert Randolph

indicates a segue into next song
(Source: http://www.dmband.com/road/SetlistsDir/setlist.asp)