Love & Your Favorite Sleeping Position

A new study claims someone’s doze pose says tons about your potential together. Here’s how to decipher the signs—and whether you should stick around.

By Laura Schaefer

Whether you’ve decided to bed down with someone on the first or fifteenth date, by the time you’re drifting off to dreamland you may be wondering: How well would I get along with this person in the days, weeks, or months to come? Well, according to one study, you can start doing research immediately—by checking out the position your sweetie snoozes in. After surveying 1,000 people about their personality and preferred sleep position, Chris Idzikowski, director of the Edinburgh Sleep Centre, came up with some People who sleep on their stomachs are pure party animals.




Curled up on his or her side. Going fetal is the most common sleep position, with 41 percent of people (and twice as many women as men) reporting this as their preference. These snoozers may seem tough on the surface, but they’re actually sensitive and shy, so keep that in mind if you want to crack a joke in the a.m. about your sweetie’s morning breath.

Sideways and straight as a log. Fifteen percent of people lie on their sides with their arms at their sides. These space-conserving sorts tend to be extremely trusting and gregarious, so if you’re seeing someone like this, you’ll continue to go on plenty of group dates, dinner parties, and outings that will allow this social butterfly to spread his or her wings.

Sideways with arms outstretched. Warning: The 13 percent of folks who slumber with their arms reaching in front of them are cynical and slow to make decisions. But while they may dodge the “Are we exclusive?” question longer than usual, once they do commit, you can be sure they’re sure.

On his or her back, arms at sides. This pose, common amongst eight percent of respondents, means your sweetie’s reserved and has very high standards. You’re with someone who’ll treat this relationship with the respect and attention it deserves.

On his or her stomach. Seven percent of people sleep on their stomachs with their hands around the pillow and their heads to the side—and the research says these folks are pure party animals. If that’s your thing, well, party on!

On his or her back, arms overhead. This rarest of sleep positions — only five percent of the population sleep this way — also boasts a very rare quality: These folks are good listeners. So whether you’ve mentioned you only drink decaf or love waking up to Puccini, don’t be surprised if your wish comes true come morning.

>>This is my position although I always think someone's going to come and tickle me in the night :)

Mags

Do men really want wives like June Cleaver?

With a divorce rate currently of 45 percent many men and women are wondering “How do I choose a partner that will go the distance?” Do men really want subservient “slave-women” who subverts all her personal needs in order to please his? Yes … and no.

Both men and women have fantasies of being taken care of, being nurtured, being babied and being number one. Historically, masculine and feminine roles contributed to the specifics of these fantasies: men imagined the perfect mate as a passive, docile catering nurturer and women envisioned a giving, sacrificing protector. But these are fantasies! And while it may be fun to imagine — or even play out — these roles at times, they are but one of many fantasies men and women may have about their ideal partners. If rigid roles are not a good predicator of relationships’ longevity, what is?

Marriages based on shared morals, values, life goals, and abilities to communicate well contribute to stable relationships. That’s because marriages require work, commitment and self-sacrifice from both partners. Marriage based first and foremost on passion, children, or extremely time-demanding careers, tend to break up.

The institution of marriage began as, and still works as, a vehicle to protect both partners financially, ensure their progeny’s health and well being, and provide companionship and intimacy. Once a couple understands marriage is a choice that requires effort through its ups and downs, then they have a shot at maintaining a healthy relationship. (Research shows that married people are healthier and have better psychological health than singles. In addition, children of married couples are healthier and have better psychological health.

Marriage is a partnership that requires both partners provide and receive gratification. Most men would say that being pampered occasionally is delightful, but that they don’t want to be only needed, but also needed. And most men would say that having all the pressure to be the sole provider and protector causes immense anxiety. They want — and need — a partner who will help shoulder some of the burden emotionally or even financially. And most women would find the 50’s housewife requirements utterly absurd and miserable. If one partner is utterly unhappy, the end of the marriage is inevitable.

The Housekeeping Monthly article represents an underlying issue in many marriages: Who has control? That’s why there are jokes about women who “wear the real pants” in the family and manipulate their sad sack husbands into making them do all kinds of things that they don’t want to do. So a man may fantasize about a June Cleaver-like wife, because he wants more control in their marriage — or even have the upper hand. Wanting more control occurs when one partner feels insecure and unsure of his, or hers, own worth and power. When both parties feel heard and sure of their own effectiveness, their fantasies of being taken care of diminish.

If you notice that your partner wants more control in your marriage, find out why. If your partner feels insecure, discuss way to make him, or her, feel more comfortable. Discuss what you think your roles are in your marriage. And find out if these roles need to be changed, so both of you are satisfied. Sit down and talk about these issues as members of the same team — not opposing teams. This is the only way to build strength and satisfaction in any relationship.

Source: © 2006 MSNBC Interactive
URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15039140/?GT1=8618