De Ja Vu

My grandmother's memorial service was yesterday afternoon and 3 weeks in the making. The closer I got to the event, the more anxious I was to get it over with. Don't get me wrong, I loved her and all but it was the people who attended that got me nervous. They were all meeting George for the first time and I had to put on a somber face and talk to everyone in the room that sought me out. First of all I knew wearing heels on linoleum would be an amusing experience luckily I rewarded myself by wearing my Uggs later that evening.

Anyhow, I can't remember the last time I actually sat in a service at my grandmother's church- 15 years ago at least. I haven't been in PB church as a worshiper for over seven years yet all those feelings and internal eye rollings took place. A few hard-core Calvanist women (young and old) had their heads covered and all the men carried their Bibles even though there was only 1 scripture reading (The Lord is my Shepard).

When it was time to speak my sister, normally very bossy, asked me to speak first. I'd found a cut out of a poem in my gram's papers but forgot to read it. I felt it was best just to focus on my thoughts and be brief. Our song went well and it was over quickly enough.

During the open mike time, only 4 people got up. Not a surprise, this is a church notorious for not speaking openly but instead amongst themselves in clusters after the service. I got a lot of "I was too shy to get up" comments which was just as well. There was one person who got up and spoke about how his family chose this church just to have my gram be his children's teacher. Nowt these children with kids of their own couldn't be any further from living that teaching if they tried. The man's grandaughter whispered during the message "Mommy what is the Gospel?" which broke my heart a little as her mother has taken a polytheistic approach to her religious life.

So afterward, I thanked my high school music teacher for coming and then about 90 minutes later it was over. My mom was in good shape and I got an invite to a wedding in the winter in AZ (maybe).