Time Passing By

I've been writing at my newspaper gig, seemingly non-stop since my last post. It left me completely forgetting about this free-space, so to speak. There's a lull (and I have some time to kill)so inspiration calls me to my keyboard once again.

The opportunity to write for myself comes and goes and I have a few half-full journals to prove it. Getting it into a cohesive project has yet to happen, however, the opportunity may be on my horizon. Last month, George and I talked about him supporting my desire to teach full-time next fall. The next week, my boss at the college where I adjunct said she would "try" and slot me for a full-time temporary position. Hooray- but I'll believe it when it's affirmed next spring.

A year ago, I was beyond miserable with my city job and was about to eulogize my grandmother at her memorial service. I stuck it out, thanks to George's seemingly endless amount of support and here I am a stronger, wiser woman. Central Park used to be my sobbing ground, now it's the sanctuary it should be for me during lunch breaks.

Last year, my relationship with my older sister was getting better but still a little awkward. Last night, we went to a concert at the Garden and the rapport we used to have before she got married returned. It just showed up over pad thai and carried us on the train ride home. Even though I'm the younger sister, I took the train part way home with her and made her call me when she made her connection. She doesn't like the city much and it was so late at night I just wanted to be sure.

My life as a writer continues to expand and change as well. My friend from grad school started up an ezine which I want to submit something to. I have to dig through my work and see what's worthy of submission.

At the newspaper, I've written theater reviews, concert reviews, walked through a golf course converted to an outdoor concert space to review a festival, and the list goes on. Sure, I'm getting paid peanuts but it does pay a bill or two that finds its way to my mailbox every month.

The one part of my life that I cannot write about is the specifics about George and me. Partly it's to protect our privacy and partly because I simply cannot put it into words.

I could list adjectives: enthralling, romantic, comfortable, helpful, supportive, predictable.

I will say this: we are the Tortoise (me) and the Hare (him) when it comes our approach to life. This will take some struggles to adjust to if we ever change the status of our relationship. I want to both move forward and hang back where we are at the same time. He tells me how he feels (sometimes) but I cannot put it into words here.

A year from now, I really hope I'm not writing a blog entry from this desk where I sit. I want to be home, making dinner and having a glass of wine. And I want a puppy next to me too :)

First Vacation with George- The Lowlights and the High Ones Too!

1. Sleeping 12 hours a day
2. The lanai and pool in the backyard
3. Cold Water
4. Pretty earrings from Siesta Key Beach store
5. Seafood galore
6. Getting to know George's Mom and Stepdad better
7. The beach (Siesta Key and Lido Beach)
8. Getting tan and not burned (thank you 45 SPF!)
9. Hanging out with George for 8 straight days
10.Crying on the plane ride back because I didn't want it to end :)

The Best Date EVER!

When: Friday, 6PM
Where: Somewhere between the World Showcase and Future World (this is Epcot of course)
Status: I'm completely drenched in sweat and craving A/C. I've been with George for more days in a row than ever in our relationship.
Event: George turns to me and says "I'd say this is best date we've been on yet!"
Result: A smile and big kiss from me!

Debrief: George and I have been on a variety of dates in our almost 16 months (and counting, yippee)of dating. We've kyacked, hiked, visited museums, taken a couple river tours and attended a symphony performance. We even have "own place"- a restaurant in New Brunswick called Raff's (to us). Ironically my favorite thing to do is takea walk around the park near by house and hold hands.Does that make me too easy to please? I hope not, because parks are free and refreshing and beautiful (if you avoid the ducks and their excretions!)

Someting to Laugh About

Facebook can be a very dangerous thing but today it gave me a good, long and hard laugh. I found out that a man-child I dated before George who broke up with me because "he wasn't sure if he wanted to get married" has in fact gotten hitched. I saw the wedding pixs from a mutual friend and all I could do was laugh. My female co-worker says I have a good spirit for taking this news so lightly. And why shouldn't I. This peter pan man did me a HUGE favor by breaking things off. In my heart I was already starting to fall for George. My co-worker's boss (a single man George's age) came in on the discussion and concurred that yes a man does say he'll never marry then end up doing so with the next woman he meets.

Buzz Is Ruining My Life

I swear he is and we haven't even met yet. Since he is not one of George's heroes (it's Winston Churchill) I think I can delicately vent here about why this man is ruining my vacation plans for the rest of '09.

If you've been following along with me the last few months, I've been wondering what exactly is next. I've been "trying" to work harder and smarter. About a month ago I was told my performance at work was not up to par and my position was possibly going down to part-time. I kept it together until my lunch and went for a good cry in Central Park. I went on a short trip at the end of that week which was the best thing I could do mentally. Literally walking away was so beneficial to get some perspective.

I'm about 4 weeks into "the hunt" to get a new job when I'm whisked into yet another meeting to get my annual review. A very sudden 180 happens and I'm told that not only is my work on par but in lieu of a raise (they can't afford the $$) I'm getting an extra week of vacation. Yes- this is my work life. One day I'm in hell the next day in paradise.

So I confer with George about it and it's his turn to get the okay from his work for the extra week. This is part of relationships where you have to "work it out". His boss has already ok'd our original week in August but is now on the verge of redacting it in the name of a major shift of workload at the firm. George, being the amazing boyfriend, tells the boss that his traveling companion (without giving its gender) has already booked the time. And this is when it gets cute- the boss asks if it's a lady with a smirk on his face. George affirms it and gets the okay. That night I insist that we get this boss man a drink after work sometime. We'll see.

So how does Buzz come and screw up my life?
Well I wanted to go away in Sept., George can't make it and the week he's free in October Buzz is coming to my work for an event and I'll probably have to be here as backup to the Events Manager. Should I pray about this or just go and buy George's boss a bottle of expensive wine as a bribe? Maybe I'll do both ;-)

Real Girlfriend of New Jersey

I must be the luckiest girlfriend in the world (or at least N. New Jersey). I spent part of the weekend up in George's neck of the woods and got spoiled with the following treats:

1. Date in the James McFaul Environmental Center. There were lots of fun things to see (peacock opening its feathers W-O-W!) We only got a little wet towards the end.

2. Watching cooking shows on Sunday afternoon because I was coming down with his cold. I'm sure I'll be doing my part this fall watching football games on Sunday for his fantasy football thingie.

3. Yummy steak cooked on the grill by George's dad. His dad has the best stories of growing up on Long Island Sound. Last night was telling me about how many boats he built as a pre-teen. And I thought reading Socrates and Plato was a challenge at that age!

Learning the Lesson

It's been a year since I signed the papers to buy my condo and boy what a long, strange, trip it has been. This time last year, I had bruises up and down my arms from moving my stuff in and getting used to where things were and bumping into them again and again. Now, I can walk through my house in the dark and not bump AS hard into my furniture. I've traded some of it to my parents because it was just too big.

I have new windows (paid off finally) and some extra savings two fold that I was blessed with in the past few months. I'm looking forward to continuing to make better $$ choices and kick this burden of debt I chained myself to without even realizing it.

I was given quite a scare a few weeks ago when I was told my full-time position is possibly being reduced for budget reasons. This jump-started my job hunt once again and I met with a recruiter last week to get some help. Unfortunately, I was exhausted last week and couldn't do much on my own in terms of hunting. Hopefully this week will be better and I'll manage to get online after work and find some good leads. Officially I've been looking for a new job since last September when I broke down in front of my boss (my first time and hopefully my last) and told her I couldn't keep going on more than a few more months. It's been a few more months and that wake up call last week reminded me that I need to get out before I'm asked to leave.

One thing I've been excited about is seeing how little changes mean big things. I don't miss NetFlix and the digital cable box and now that some of my debt has been paid off in full (3 debts in 6 months, horray) I can continue to snowball my payments (thanks Dave Ramsey) and work towards really living more within my income instead of just at the tippy top.