I realized today that both my match.com and eharmony profiles are still "active" on their matrix and I decided to have them deleted. I've been getting winks from match.com and it was kinda weirding me out. Then I ran into one of my eHarmony matches at church on Sunday. I pointed him out to George and said "yeah once he found out I wasn't to into water he stopped talking to me". Lucky for George as the smile on his face confirmed as we walked into the service.
Have you ever been a situation (dating, work, social) where you went through the motions just to say you did it but really you wanted to be somewhere or with someone else. That's what online dating was like for me. I felt like I was hounding my email box searching for that next message from one of my matches. The ones from Match.com came more frequently than the eHarmony ones. I remember this time last year getting an email from one of my eHarmony matches talking about who knows what, he lived in CT and wasn't too kean on church (a Joel Osteen fan errrgh) but still I was chatting with him hoping beyond hope it would turn into something.
What I've realized with George is that he actually wants to spend time with me that's why he pursues me. None of my matches really knew "me" the way he does, the real life version of me. Not the blow up doll that an online dating profile makes you look. Sure my personality comes through a bit but truly it's not designed for people like me who can clearly express themselves in words.
I was watching "Lars and Real Girl" and to some extent understood why he wanted to have that virtual relationship. He wanted a connection to someone (of the opposite sex) who wasn't obligated by familial bond to chose to be with him. Bianca, his doll love, is what he (and eventually his neighbors/friends in town) make her.
Since I've known George for many years, although I can't remember clearly the first Sunday we met. Oh yeah I do actually, he was getting out of his friend's car as I was and we walked in all together to sit in church. Anyway, since we've been friends for a while and regularly communicate he was the first person I called when I broke up with my last boyfriend. I waited a whole two days to call George on the premise of taking him out to dinner since I missed his birthday party. Anyway, I was sitting there thinking "God this is the guy I should be dating" and then I let it go. I bugged our mutual friend to help me out but he said George takes him time with important things like that so I had to wait until George was ready to pursue me. I think what helped him along was my making his birthday cake this year and buying him a girlfriend-esque present of a polo shirt. The best purchase (besides my condo) I've ever made- it's paying off in dividends of happiness.
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