Macaroni & Cheese

This is what I've code-name the discussion of "marriage & children" for myself only. I don't think you should bring it up "seriously" in any dating relationship until at least a full year (that's right twelve full months from your first "date"). I bring it up in jest a lot with George, mostly my anti-bride rants. As for the children discussion, I believe doing the church nursery on a regular basis (as I did for the past year) is the BEST birth control/ silence your fertility clock out there!

More on "marriage"...

This week on the train I was reading "Mr. Darcy's Daughters" in which the oldest Camilla, is one and twenty,has absolutely no interest in getting married. She gets ragged on for being a bluestocking (aka a avid reader) by the men and women in her current social circle. They think if she comes off too smart, no good man will want to marry her. Camilla is quite well off, fifty thousand a year (that's 50K pounds sterling in the 17th to you non-Austen fans, so she takes comfort in the fact she does NOT have to marry to keep her current lifestyle.

I find myself in a somewhat similar situation. I just bought a condo and have my first mortgage payment coming up on Aug. 1st. As long as my job's payroll dept. keeps doing a fabulous job, I will have those fund in my bank account by July 30th. My father is especially proud that I'm doing this "on my own" and my mother's adjusting to the fact that I'm financially independent without a husband. I figure if I can do this now, when I'm at the end of my 20s, I've set a good example that it can be done. Simple as that. If I ever get married, I go into the marriage with the financial self-confidence (thank you Suze Orman) that I can survive, food, shelter and all on my own for the next 30 year. Getting married at the appropriate time in my life (or season) would just be an additonal blessing in my life not a financial crutch that many women still rely on.

Growing up in the Evangelical Christian community (third generation), I'm breaking a huge mold of expectation regarding my single status. While I do have a boyfriend and have regularly dated since I graduated from college, I've never accepted a marriage proposal. It just never felt exactly right, I didn't feel like a complete person at the time. What I mean is I felt that marriage at a younger age would prohibit me from living the fullest life I wanted for myself since I was a teenager: a graduate degree and saving to buy a home before the age of 30.

These are now off the TO DO list and now it's back to reviewing that list and see what's next to do. At this point it's more travel and finally working on that novel that every English major has drolling around in her brain since declaring such a unprofitable but intellectually rewarding career path.


More on Children (or as the Freddies of old would say "chillldren chillldren" )

Okay,most naively I accepted the post of Nursery Coordinator at my now old church in NJ. I told the pastor I'd only commit to 1 year and by the very end as volunteers were quitting left and right, I'm glad I did. The year started out with 2 toddlers and ended with: 2 sets of twins and 6 toddlers. By that last service date, the first thing I told George that afternoon was "if that isn't the most effective form of birth control...". His response was a double-take and then he calmly said "well you're not planning on have 8 children are you?" Touche. He was right, he knows that if I were to get married and have children the top number would be three and only if nos. 1 & 2 came out all right and good tempered.

I grew up in a house where my mother's home based business was child care and my first job was as a mother's helper for 5 children in my town. It was a learning experience and allowed me to see how easily over-whelmed a mother can get with multiple children. Enough about the babies, I'm just enjoying being an aunt.